Thursday, August 12, 2010

A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules

Ok, y'all lets have a little fun today. Since it is just about 825 degrees with 300% humidity outside, and I believe it is getting to the best of us, I thought it might be time to cool off and revisit one of my favorite little books
 A Southern Belle Primer or Why Princess Margret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma by Maryln Schwartz and get a little refresher on what is important! So get a nice big glass of iced tea, and enjoy:

"A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules

  1. Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has Communist overtones.

  2. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even if it's for the third time).

  3. Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if you're a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never wear white shoes. Bridesmaids' shoes should match the punch.

  4. It doesn't matter if you marry a man who doesn't know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork; you can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both.

  5. Never date your sorority sister's ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it's a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa.

  6. Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He's not quality and he'll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement.

  7. It's never too soon to write a thank-you note. Some belles take the notes and a pen with them to a party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies' room and write a thank-you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items).  They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave.  The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure this is compulsive, but you're going to have to be compulsive if you want to be president of Junior League.

  8. Never show your bosom before evening and never wear an ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually end up twirling batons.  There has never been a baton twirler who became Miss America and there's certainly never been a baton twirler in Junior League.

  9. Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street.

  10. Buy low. Sell high."
Oh, I just love you,Miss Schwartz! 

Oh and y'all ,summer is a state of mind (one enjoyed just as easily from in the conditioned air as outside!).

Schwartz, Maryln, A Southern Belle Primer, Or Why Princess Margaret will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma, 1st ed., New York, New York, Doubleday Dell Publishing, 1991

6 comments:

Mom on the Run said...

I love that book! One of my favorite lines is about sorority rush skits. "I didn't know whether I was joining Phi Mu or a road show of the Wizard of Oz".

How is rush going? Bid Day tomorrow....I'll keep you in my thoughts!

JMW said...

I laughed out loud at the part about pink lemonade having Communist overtones - hilarious! And, I agree with the ankle bracelet - just say no!

Preppy 101 said...

One of my favorite books - ever! A gift to my precious daughter years ago! xoxo

Beaufort Belle said...

I have both of her original Southern Belle Primer's (original not the Paris Hilton remake) and I love them both. However, this one is the one I love most. I get it off the bookshelf quite often and read through it. Brooke and I have been reading the sorority section since she is leaving for school on Sunday. Best Wishes to Piper tomorrow. (I will message you back later.)

Ruth said...

I love that book. One of my pledge sisters mother found that book and bought it for a couple of us. And that reminds me that I am not sure where it is anymore.

Sarah Beth - Dixie Gator Gal said...

I treated this book like the bible in high school. So funny about the notes on Junior League. I transferred last year from my southern JL of Tampa to the JL of DC. Thursday night I was asked to bring dessert to my committee meeting. Since all our belongings are packed up due to remodeling our house, I couldn't make anything. I ordered elaborate fruit tarts and went to buy a beautiful serving platter. I was shocked when I showed up to see everything else was being served from aluminum platters-that would NEVER happen in the south!