This isn't mine but it comes from one of my favorite little books: New Times in the Old South or Why Scarlett's in Therapy and Tara's Going Condo by Maryln Schwartz (who also wrote The Southern Belle Primer):
"You Can Always Tell
Much about the Old South and New South is so blended together that it's hard to tell which is which. But still, no matter how much money you have, how much coaching you have and how many sponsors you have, there are ten ways you can always tell that your new money in the Old South.
- Your plastic surgeon buys an entire table at the charity ball you're chairing.
- Your bathroom is bigger than the town you were born in.
- Your silver pattern wasn't inherited from your grandmother, it was recommended by your hairdresser.
- The newer your money, the smaller the vegetables you serve at your dinner parties.
- Your paintings match the sofa.
- When people talk about you, they know how much money your house cost rather than who your grandfather was.
- No little pearl earrings from Grandmother; your earrings are big enough to double as barbells in your aerobics class.
- You've never heard of home-made cheese straws; your speciality is the miniature frozen quiches from Sam's.
- You don't have a file of family recipes, you have a file of caterers.
- Your pearls are fake; but your money is real."
This is almost as good as the 12 patterns of the Southern Silver Zodiac! Schwartz, Maryln. New Times in the Old South, or Why Scarlett's in Therapy and Tara's Going Condo, 1st Edition, Harmony Books, 1993