Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Not the best of days

A painting of my daughter when she was 3

I am suffering from melancholy and some form of Mommy Burn-Out. I love all three of my precious babies so much but lately I am struggling with my job...my job being that of a Mom. I can’t imagine doing or being anything else...but I can’t seem to do this one very well right now.

One thing that is lying heavily on my heart is that my sweet baby girl is going into high school in the fall. Tomorrow is officially the last day of 8th grade for her. I am sad, scared, and so proud of her. She is transferring out of our cloistered private school into the wide-open, who knows what to expect, local, public school. I can’t hide how scary that is for me. She is so good, sweet and kind. I am so very afraid some of that will change in the halls of that free for all of society. She is so excited about the change. It is a good public high school and there are tons of good people there, but I am worried about MY girl.

I feel like I have failed her in so many ways and the time has just passed so quickly. I can’t seem to make up for it. At the same time, I am failing my boys and the clock is ticking. There was so much I wanted to do, so many memories to make and her childhood is zooming to a close.

My dear daughter now.....




"Behold,children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."
Psalm 127:3

7 comments:

sjdecorates said...

I feel your pain, as my daughter is the same age, and facing the same challenges. But keep remembering that God is faithful and His grace works in our children, too. It is a walk of faith for us AND for our children!!

sjdecorates said...

I feel your pain, as my daughter is the same age, and facing the same challenges. But keep remembering that God is faithful and His grace works in our children, too. It is a walk of faith for us AND for our children!!

Stephanie T. said...

I just wanted to stop by and give you a hug. I'm sure you're a wonderful mother and your kids are lucky to have you, and I bet your daughter will stay the same sweet girl she is now in high school.

Oh, and thanks for the advice on where to find cheap sunglasses. :)

Jessica said...

Beautiful painting and your daughter is gorgeous. I am sure she brings you much joy!!!

juryizout said...

I totally understand. We moved to Kentucky from Tennessee, and my son had been in a Christian school his whole life. He was one of 8 kids in the class and it was a big adjustment for him. As for failing, we all do as parents. But as the mother of one who just became legal, I can tell you that God is faithful and He parents much better than we do. And boy, am I glad.
Your daughter is a beauty, so I know why you worry. But she had good upbringing and I know she will be your sweet girl even in this enviroment.

Katrina said...

I am totally hearing you! Even though my kids aren't that old yet, every big change brings on scary dreams and heart palpitations for me! For so much of their childhood, it's us against the world in the battle for their hearts, but inevitably, in the end, we have to turn them loose into the very world we've been engaging in tug-of-war.

No one told me how hard this is!

jouette said...

I can relate, they grow so quickly, don't they?
she is just beautiful...then and now.