Sunday, May 29, 2016
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Yes, that is me.....w....a....y out there on that dead tree limb over water filled with rocks, large rocks as a matter of fact. I even climbed out there and back all by myself. That probably doesn't sound like much to lots of you athletic types but for me...the girlie, girl type, it was a huge step. I have a bit of a fear of heights and also every time a wave crashed into the tree it almost knocked me off. Even my boys were nervous and were not very comfortable with me venturing out of my box so far. I kind of felt it was representative of my new, stronger, learning to be braver self. I was scared to death, literally, BUT, I DID IT!
Another thing I managed to do is bring 4 (count 'em....4) teenagers on vacation all by myself. Now if that isn't BRAVE, I don't know what is. So far everyone is well and accounted for, though there have been a few Band-Aids needed and Neosporin has been in high demand. We have had so much fun this week on an island that was practically deserted and we had lots of free beach space. Not once have we had to have video games, but they built a pretty impressive sand fort today, complete with fire. Today for transportation, rather than me driving them, they rode bikes and loved it. Lots of great photos have been taken. It has been a great week...no video games, very little TV and no....no.....drama. I really don't want to go home, except I am starting to miss Miss Macy and even S.C. and her wild puppy self just a little.
I love having the group around and find solace in their laughs and silliness. They are all on the brink of adulthood and I am glad I could provide one last trip before school, jobs and football start taking their time. It has been good to be on Island Time. I am blessed.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Those feet might not look so big there, because that was the day we brought Miss SC home but you would not believe how much she has grown since. At 13 weeks she has tripled her weight and size and she has a long way to go. She is a German Shepard from a European blood line so we expect a large girl (what my son wanted) and we are all going through the growing pains of having a "baby in the house." Miss SC likes to dig in her water bowl and likes to try to carry it around while it is full of water. If there is mud outside to be found she zeros in on it. She can't leave our cocker spaniel alone and she is extremely vocal...extremely. She seems to have something to say about everything. Oh, and lets not forget those razor sharp baby teeth....they can't be gone soon enough.
Miss SC is my son's dog....ALL HIS. He has had some learning to do because puppies are a lot of work and he has lost a bit of sleep here and there being a puppy daddy. I can't wait until she is old enough to go to puppy school! Over all though, it is fun having her around and watching her run around like a drunken sailor. It is as if all her parts are connected and haven't decided to cooperate with each other yet. So, we have big, floppy, clumsy, loud fun running at top speeds most of the time sweet mess. The only one really complaining is poor Miss Macy who was totally not prepared for the tornado that moved in.
Mama saying goodbye to her baby girl.
Tuesday, July 07, 2015
Yes, I do get lonely but I wonder how lonely my Grandmother must have been after her husband died at only 50 (she never dated or remarried.) Did she cry at night silently into her pillow when the loneliness got so heavy? Did she ever tear up just sitting and watching TV alone at night? I lived next door to her my whole life and I never wondered...how insensitive. I wonder how lonely my Aunt Peggy must be at times when she misses my Uncle Kenneth, who died a few years ago after spending her entire life with him (they were Middle School sweet hearts.) The loneliness is the hardest because you do have to hide it from so many people and it strikes when you least expect it.
But, as I was walking the dog last night...alone; I started thinking about the piece from Facebook. I knew then that if there was a "he" for me out there somewhere he will find me. God will lead him to me. He will find me. It is actually a very scary proposition to sit back and let go and say he will find me. See, I work a female dominated industry. Most men I come in to contact with are with their wives or there for something for their wives or girlfriends. It is hard to resist the urge to go out looking for him but from what I have seen that doesn't pan out. It goes against human nature to not try to control the outcome but I am trying.
Below is that piece from Facebook and if anyone knows the author please share:
Subject: SELF WORTH (Very Deep!!!) In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.
She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.
And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot".
Monday, July 06, 2015
How to Heal After Infidelity. Make sure also, to share it with anyone who might be helped by her worlds.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
I guess the time always sneaks up on you and it did when my oldest son graduated from High School a couple of weeks ago. Some how I have been bombarded with memories of him as a chubby baby and growing into the young man I am getting to know each day. He has come through some rough patches and I am proud of where he seems to be heading now. It is always bittersweet at one of these milestones because you are so happy for them and their accomplishments but you miss that baby that used to sleep in your arms.
He and I have had a hard time working out what our new life looks like together but I think we have finally gotten a groove that works for both of us. He has helped me and taken care of me in ways I know he never wanted to have to do, but he stepped up and did it. He has a big heart, but tries to hide it but I still get glimpses from time to time. He is going to be a good man, a real man.
I was so proud to be with him at his special day and celebrate his accomplishments.
I love him more than he will ever know and am so very proud of him.
I think one thing I will miss most is the trail of boys that seem to wander through my kitchen on their way upstairs to watch TV or play video games. Having them in the house this past year has kept it from feeling so lonely and I know that God has something special in store for each of these friends and I hope life allows them to keep their bonds.
I can assure you these boys kept things lively and I never knew what silly, craziness they would come up with but I wouldn't trade it for the world!